Mutlu olmay\u0131 m\u0131 bilmiyoruz, yoksa yetinmeyi mi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hangisi daha evlad\u0131r: \u0130\u00e7inden geldi\u011fi gibi konu\u015fmak m\u0131, yoksa kelimelerini se\u00e7erek konu\u015fmak m\u0131?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bu soru, ilk bak\u0131\u015fta bir ileti\u015fim meselesi gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnse de, asl\u0131nda insan\u0131n i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyas\u0131na dair \u00e7ok daha derin bir meseleyi i\u015faret eder. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc insan bazen kelimeleri oldu\u011fu gibi d\u00f6ker yery\u00fcz\u00fcne, bazen de k\u0131rar, d\u00f6ker, yaralar fark\u0131nda olmadan. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden konu\u015fmak ile d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek susmak aras\u0131nda gidip gelen bir denge bu… <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve galiba biz o dengeyi de kaybettik.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
D\u00fcn, g\u00fcne\u015fin c\u00f6mert\u00e7e y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi o nadir \u0130stanbul g\u00fcnlerinden birinde, bir kafenin teras\u0131nda oturuyordum. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc sakindi, ku\u015flar tela\u015fs\u0131zd\u0131. Kahvemi yudumlarken, \u00f6n\u00fcmden ge\u00e7en kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131 izlemeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kendime k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir oyun kurdum: “Ka\u00e7 ki\u015fi y\u00fcz\u00fcnde ger\u00e7ek bir huzurla, i\u00e7ten bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyle ge\u00e7ecek buradan diyerek? “Y\u00fcz ki\u015fiyi sayd\u0131m. Sadece \u00fc\u00e7 ki\u015finin y\u00fcz\u00fcnde o s\u0131cak, o saf g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeye rastlad\u0131m. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00dc\u00e7 ki\u015fi…\u00dc\u00e7 tebess\u00fcm\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0130stanbul\u2019un g\u00f6be\u011finde, hayat\u0131n tam ortas\u0131nda.\u0130\u00e7imi tuhaf bir h\u00fcz\u00fcn kaplad\u0131. Neden bu kadar azd\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyen y\u00fczler?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
G\u00fclmek, bula\u015f\u0131c\u0131d\u0131r derler. Oysa sanki bu \u015fehirde art\u0131k kimseye bula\u015fm\u0131yor. Bir tebess\u00fcm\u00fcn bir ba\u015fka y\u00fcz\u00fc ayd\u0131nlatma ihtimali azald\u0131 m\u0131 ger\u00e7ekten?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yoksa biz o ihtimali \u00e7oktan terk mi ettik?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda i\u00e7imdeki hafifli\u011fi de\u011fil, a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131m ad\u0131mlar\u0131ma. G\u00fcl\u00fcmseyen \u00fc\u00e7 ki\u015fiyi saymak kolayd\u0131 belki ama, g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyen doksan yedinin yorgunlu\u011fu ge\u00e7ti i\u00e7ime. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Neyfi bizi bu kadar yorgun, bu kadar suskun, bu kadar donuk yapan? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0130yilik, g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemek, i\u00e7ten olmak, anlay\u0131\u015f g\u00f6stermek; bunlar\u0131n hepsi h\u00e2l\u00e2 k\u0131ymetli. Ama biz de\u011fer bilmeyi mi unuttuk?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Belki de as\u0131l mesele \u015fu: Mutlu olmay\u0131 m\u0131 bilmiyoruz, yoksa yetinmeyi mi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Belki her ikisi de…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7a\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, hep daha fazlas\u0131n\u0131 isteyen, elindekini k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmseyen, bakmay\u0131 bilen ama g\u00f6rmeyi unutan bir ruha d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrd\u00fc bizi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ne varsa d\u0131\u015far\u0131da, uzakta, daha parlakta sand\u0131k. Yak\u0131n\u0131m\u0131za de\u011fer vermemeyi marifet bildik. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kendimize bile…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bu y\u00fczden midir bilinmez, bir yandan i\u00e7imizden geldi\u011fi gibi konu\u015fal\u0131m istiyoruz, di\u011fer yandan her kelimeyi \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcp tart\u0131yoruz. Kalbimizle konu\u015fsak k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r\u0131z, akl\u0131m\u0131zla konu\u015fsak donukla\u015f\u0131r\u0131z. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve biz ne kalben ne aklen tam olam\u0131yoruz art\u0131k. Kelimeler ya fazla sert ya fazla bo\u015f\u2026 Ya incitiyor ya da hi\u00e7bir yere varm\u0131yor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bizim belki de \u00f6nce kendimize yeniden bakmam\u0131z gerekiyor.Kendimize g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyi \u00f6\u011frenmeden ba\u015fkas\u0131na g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyemeyiz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Belki huzur da bu y\u00fczden y\u00fczlerimizde de\u011fil art\u0131k ama i\u00e7imizde de de\u011fil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131n ortas\u0131nda, h\u00e2l\u00e2 bir \u015fey sorulmay\u0131 bekliyor: \u0130\u00e7ten gelen kelimelerle konu\u015fmak m\u0131 daha k\u0131ymetli, yoksa susmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmek mi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Belki de bazen en hakiki konu\u015fma, kelimelerin \u00f6tesindedir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bir bak\u0131\u015fta, bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemede, bir s\u00fck\u00fbtta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ARZU SAMAT<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mutlu olmay\u0131 m\u0131 bilmiyoruz, yoksa yetinmeyi mi? Hangisi daha evlad\u0131r: \u0130\u00e7inden geldi\u011fi gibi konu\u015fmak m\u0131, yoksa...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":2604,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","categories":[60,38],"tags":[],"manset":[],"class_list":["post-2602","columist","type-columist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kirmizi-bulten-avrupa","category-yazarlar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/columist\/2602","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/columist"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/columist"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2602"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2604"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2602"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2602"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2602"},{"taxonomy":"manset","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirmizibulten.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/manset?post=2602"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}